I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
