well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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