Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i permit you to call me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
