Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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