I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
