I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
40s are totally the cure
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
