I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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