I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
