I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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