Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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