im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
