Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
