spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize