I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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