Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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