bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
