Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
