it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
