Having a random hookup so left but love u
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
