I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
