when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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