Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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