after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
