sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
