is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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