So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
