my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
