You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
