Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
