called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
