Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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