come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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