I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
