either way he was missing a nipple.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
