I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
