ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
