You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i drank out of a bidet.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
