You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
