i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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