i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did i walk over a car last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
