weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
