It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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