dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
