I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
