yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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