fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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