I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Boobs speak an international language.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize