I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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