Sponge bath it is.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
