I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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