but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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