He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I deserve this hangover.
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