There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
