I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize