Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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