whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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