Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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