I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
