I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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