i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
