I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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